


Daydream With Me

by adios_cowboy



Series: If We Both Fall Down [2]
Category: Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: (kind of), Blood and Injury, Established Relationship, Guro, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Romance, Self-Harm, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:41:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24794818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adios_cowboy/pseuds/adios_cowboy
Summary: Takano reminisces on his own issues and romanticizes them with some unhealthy actions.
Relationships: Onodera Ritsu/Takano Masamune
Series: If We Both Fall Down [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793218
Comments: 12
Kudos: 15





	Daydream With Me

When Masamune was younger he used to have a few problems, to say the least. It ranged from drug addiction to things like self harm. He’d always felt like a coward because he could never really go as far as to kill himself, but he couldn’t stop going back to  _ this. _

He was doing so well. It was when Ritsu got an injury again this past week and decided to solve it by taking Masamune’s knife for himself to cut open his wound and drain the blood. Masamune would’ve never seen his boyfriend as the type to resort to something so vulgar, even though it was by curiosity and a little bit by accident; He couldn’t help it when he saw the blood, knowing it was wrong and still taking the finger into his mouth. God, he missed the taste. 

They didn’t talk about it after that, but it stayed in Masamune’s mind. How could he erase it? He missed the feeling and the taste so much. He didn’t acknowledge this knife often- it’s his favorite one; He’s had it since high school when he used it a lot more frequently. It’s something he never wants anyone else to know about, not even Ritsu, but it’s now that he can’t hold himself back. 

Ritsu had errands to run this morning. It’s the perfect time, Masamune thinks. He takes the switchblade from his nightstand and holds it tightly against his wrist. He’s not even sure he can really do this anymore, not sure he’s brave enough. It’s cruel and wrong, but he thinks of his mom. It always used to work when he was most upset. 

He breathes and then opens his eyes again, still wondering whether or not he should and then-   
  
“Takano-san? I’m home.” 

The front door opens so suddenly that it startles him too fast; the blade swipes hard against his arm and he hisses. It doesn’t hurt, not really, but the shock is a lot for him. The blood spills fast and he can’t think quick enough to hide it or stop it. He just stares.

_ He did it.  _

Ritsu is in their room fast, most likely worried from the lack of answers despite knowing Masamune is home. Masamune slaps a hand over the wound but it’s no use; the blood is seeping through his fingers and it’s so obvious. Ritsu stares in the same kind of shock but quickly stumbles out of it, snapping.

“What d- what did you do?” He yells. Masamune knows he doesn’t really mean to but he’s scared himself. What was he  _ thinking- _ “Takano-san!”    
  
“Sorry-”    
  
“Why?” Ritsu’s eyes are watering and he grabs a towel to press it over the cut. “Just- just hold this there, press  _ hard _ . I’ll get the first aid.” 

Of course Masamune feels nothing but guilty, and a little anxious too, but he does as told. It makes him laugh a little, the feeling of his blood seeping out like this. He imagines what would happen if it killed him and he laughs even more. He thinks he must be crazy.

Ritsu is back soon after, holding down the towel with him and both of their hands are shaking.

“Why?” He whispers.   
  
Masamune doesn’t know how to answer that. It’s not that he really wants to die, he has things to be here for. He has Ritsu. It’s just comforting to have this as well, he thinks. He likes this and he still likes the cold feeling that envelopes his hand now, despite how uncomfortable. 

“I like it.” He says back, finally.    
  
“What?”   
  
He knows how ridiculous it sounds and shakes his head. Ritsu doesn’t let him off with that.   
  
“Is this… like last time? With what I did.” He bites his lip.

Masamune isn’t one to lie, so, “A little. I’ve had this issue.”   
  
He decides to tell Ritsu everything. About his childhood, about his mom and all the things that stressed him out until there was a blade against his skin and blood trickling down. Ritsu doesn’t look disgusted or hurt anymore, just a little curious. It makes something light up in Masamune’s chest. Like someone understands him.

“You’re still a weirdo, you know. And I’m still patching this up for you.”   
  
“I know.” Masamune sighs. “Sorry.”   
  
“Don’t be.” There’s more of a playful smile on his boyfriend’s face. 

So maybe this can be something more, he guesses. They’re a couple, they can be weird together, right? He really hopes so. 

This was worth it. 

**Author's Note:**

> for skylor nasty (no edits or beta cause i'm hungry and tired)


End file.
